Not pretty, but nobody's complaining: Horsed beat So Horsed 4–3.

Getting the goals: Jack C (brace) and Eddie E (brace).

Pick of the bunch: Steven W, your Man of the Match. File this under 'pure cinema' — Jack's delightful flick onto Eddie for the goal. Somehow it all came off.

Predictably, someone had to spoil the fun. This week's Donkey 🫏 goes to Matt for not showing up and not messaging. Commitment of the year, that.

And with that, it was off to The Cock Inn to get horsed.