10 seasons · 152 games played
Stumpy flicked the ball over his head and finished in the bottom corner — all while Eddie chanted 'Stumpy' from the other pitch
Dan for conceding from the halfway line, his excuse for not moving his leg out of the way being 'I'm tired'
Jack M for getting sat down like a toddler wanting his dummy, then watching the ball lobbed over him
James and their midfielder having a three-legged race with their boots being caught together
James for kicking a spare ball at the match ball perfectly as their player ran through
Eddie for losing against the wind after 15 seconds and shouting "Oh it's quite difficult running into the wind"
Ref for stroking Adam's leg whilst down injured
Eddie's red card for running back and taking their player out as he was about to shoot
Ash taking on two players, passing to Jack, Jack nutmegging their guy for the 1-2, Ash with an outside of the boot finish
Chris stepping over the ball on the edge of the area from Matt's pass, sending the keeper the wrong way and the ball rolling into the net
Ash and Adam had beautiful flicks to Jack who didn't take the chances. Jack then scoring a screamer after their player shouted "he only has a right foot"
Everyone
Ref for not spotting their player running so far in the box it was nearly an OG
Charlotte for telling the ref to back off when he had a go at James's shooting
Matt for tickling the D by passing the ball to the edge of the D rather than to James, falling perfectly for their player
Drew for telling Ash to "snap Mr Universal Credit's legs", for him to then start at Eddie and invite him onto the pitch to try himself
Their defender doing a through ball to Jack for him to finish with the outside of the boot
Ash for doing the hard work by getting down to the shot but then allowing it to go through his arms. Jack for passing to a More Horsed player on the other pitch
Adam's perfect cross to Jack to send the defender for hot dogs, and volleying the ball into the net
Ash for giving the ball to their striker... and doing exactly the same thing 3 seconds later
Jack for getting sin binned for saying a swear word, then getting sent off for refusing to go off and then kicking the goal post when he went off
Wally with the Brolly Mary Poppins O'Kelly running to the game with his brolly open
Team effort for coming back from 3-1 down to 5-3 up within 10 minutes
Dan for getting sent off and threatened with being escorted off the premesis for calling the ref a blind wanker
Ash and Dan for having a little temper tantrum bitch off on the sideline during the game
James for blowing his nose as Eddie put him 1 on 1 and then Eddie shouting "James, stop blowing your fucking nose"
James for his unintended skill by missing it with his right foot and hitting it with his left, going perfectly to Jack
The ref for giving a foul against Jack for a slide tackle on himself when he had the ball at his feet
Good team goal to go 1 up which gave us false hope
Dan for blaming his defence (again) and then letting in a slow motion howler like Massimo Taibi
James - first kick of the game hit the ball with the wrong foot and played them in. Adam - getting caught in 3 minds but chose the 4th option and just gave it to them
Final whistle
The oppo striker continually lifting up his shorts
George for booting the ball into the opposition's testicles so hard he had to go in goal
The Malta trio for not being able to run
The ref for informing us before the game that the opposition were allowed to swear at him because they're "uneducated"
Steve for getting nutmegged, and also hoofing the ball into the goal on the other pitch
Ash for shouting "I am fucking tracking him" and then that player scoring immediately
Their best player for swan diving and claiming a penalty when Steven didn't touch him
Ash for turning into Jens Lehmann making a crucial save in the last minute of the game
Good team goal that went through every player
Good build up play, good assist, good finish. Top team goal
James' thundercunt strike that went in off the post and keeper
Their keeper for randomly picking it up outside the area and giving us a penalty
James R Kelly for having his pants pulled down by a child putting the ball throught his legs
Rhys' nutmeg run
Eddie for attempting a rainbow kick and passing it to nobody because Craig said he wouldn't be able to
James' Ronaldinho -esque skills all game
Chris for taking an awful free kick that went out for a goal kick... then the ref gave it as a penalty
Eddie for doing a WWF move on their striker and then threatening to coconut punch him because he called him a fat cunt
The ref for trying to send Jack off for: A) thinking about fouling someone B) Passing the ball back 3 yards at 2mph And then revoking the red card for realising he was being a massive cunt
Ash for going off after getting a ball to the bollocks, only to then get another ball to the bollocks immediately while on the bench after a deflection
The final whistle
The ref for giving the world's worst penalty decision
Ash for when the ref stated "Horsed vs 1nightstand" and he shouted "I thought we were playing the jockeys" in front of all the jockeys
—
Tiki taka football through the opposition to create a quality effort
—
—
—
Bloody everyone for that last minute winner
—
—
—
—
Chris for this interaction with the ref: Ref: "White ball, goal kick" Chris: "It's a fucking white ball" Ref: Yes, I know. That's why I said white ball"
Adam trying to make it a closer game by slotting one in the bottom corner of our goal with his knee
—
—
—
—
—
George for coming on to help us and immediately getting sent off (stopped a goal though)
The ref for trying to give penalties left, right, and centre. All against Steven
—
—
Ash for injuring himself doing a random overhead kick in the middle of the pitch (and for wearing a baseball cap all game)
—
—
—
—
—
Mark for coming on with 2 mins to go and leathering it into the woods from the halfway line, twice
—
James for taking a throw in and the ball not coming on the pitch, and then saying "Sorry I'm still learning"
—
—
—
—
—
—
—
No donkey
No donkey
No donkey
George for turning up at half time wearing Vans on a wet pitch, and asking the opposition who was on his team
—
No donkey
—
—
No highlight
—
—
No donkey
—
—
—
—
—
