More Horsed FC

Ryan for missing a 1-on-1, then — after the keeper rolled it back for another go — missing that one too

Jack M for getting flip-flapped by their player, who then banged the ball into the top corner

Eddie for walking off mid game without telling anyone so Ben passed to him

Adriano for spending most of the game on the ground after his 89 slide tackles

Ash S for kicking the ball into his own face

Eddie for catching the ball a metre inside the lines thinking it was off the pitch

Isaac for giving the ball away... then running back and twatting the ball out for a corner and celebrating it

James for getting cramp whilst doing the gymnastics

Eddie and Isaac for missing multiple 1-on-1s

Josh/Tom forgetting which horsed team he was in and passing straight to their players

Josh for getting the ball on the edge of the box, taking 10 seconds stepping back, allowing their player to come back and tackle him

Josh for taking a bet on Tom to score the first goal

Isaac for forgetting how to play football and faceplanting the floor in the first 5 minutes

Ash for failing a roulette against no-one

Joe's back heal to the touch line

Tom for back healing the ball to their player as he wanted to test Josh's clean sheet status

James & Adam - both passing the ball to their striker who went on to score

Tom first 10 seconds - giving the ball to their player to score, then 30 seconds later doing the same thing

Adam for being on a business call when the whistle blew to start the game

Isaac for not playing because it was against a 'hard team'

Eddie for being his boss's Lake District rent boy

Eddie for trying to do a flick mid-air, failing and falling on the floor

Ben's shot on target ratio being about 3%

Josh for several howlers

Isaac for missing 17 one on ones

Josh for his poor distribution and attempt at a scorpion kick that ended with him eating dirt

Ben for hitting the keeper's belly from the penalty spot

Jack M for smashing into a wall and bailing last minute

Andy for missing the last minute 1-on-1 to win the game

Ash S - Rhys subbed off for Ash, Ash came on without a bib, had to go off to get a bib, oppo scored during this calamity

Ash S for saving the ball with his bollocks, and "just clipping the tip"

Jack M for parking his car poorly, leading to it getting smashed into

Ben for milking paternity leave

Josh for trying to keep the game interesting by letting in two howlers in the final 10 minutes

Jack M for choosing to give it to their striker to score rather than any of the other four options

The ref - Jack and Eddie came off refused to play in the future if he refs

Jack M for turning slower than milk for one of their goals

Eddie for being a greedy donkey and shooting from a corner that somehow went in

Jack M for playing a class through-ball to their striker for said 1 on 1

Ryan for throwing a hissy fit at the ref

Eddie for getting sat down by a Ronaldo chop

Josh for bringing the ball on the pitch for a goal kick... and then dragging it off for a corner

Ash for standing on the ball whilst play had paused, and falling over the ball to injure himself

Everyone for arguing with the ref while the oppo played on and scored

George for doing yoga mid-game

The whole team bar Josh for the ref shouting "just to let you know, you have to get it between the three white posts"

George for kicking the ball into Adam's throat

Eddie for getting nutmegged

Ben's head loss

Josh for playing basketball outside the area

Eddie trimming the top of the trees with his shots

Steve for steaming in and shouting "STEVE'S" after James's great cut back

Eddie and Isaac for not turning up

Isaac for not having a first touch

Isaac for missing a one-on-one

Dan for coming on

George for getting flipped 360 degrees by their striker

Ben for tripping over the ball every time he was through on goal

Josh for slicing the ball up the pitch like a Victoria Sponge

Craig for skying the ball over the bar whilst 1 on 1 with Josh

George and Eddie for tackling each other on the edge of their D

Eddie for doing a dragback onto the next pitch

Dan for throwing a hissy fit and leaving halfway through the game

Josh for just letting the ball roll in from Aiden's shot of all people

Eddie for sending three defenders for hot dogs but leaving the ball behind

Eddie for trying to time waste by hoofing the ball miles over the fence, only to hit the crossbar

Isaac for using stupid tricks that didn't come off and missing the penalty

Eddie's shot that was going for a throw-in but hit Isaac's arse and went in

Josh for scoring the worst own goal the Horsed franchise has ever seen

Ash for letting the opposition pick his nose

Ash for telling Dan which way he was going to shoot, and then putting it there for an easy save

George for sending a message on the chat saying Adrian and Floris are having an affair or something

Isaac for blasting it to the international space station when one-on-one

Jack for hitting the post 7 times in two games

Josh for purposely letting a pea roller in because he "thought it was going wide"

Andy for passing a throw-in at the ref

Eddie for hoofing the ball into lower earth orbit

Isaac for putting it over the bar when trying to chip the keeper

Euan for skying not one but two one-on-ones over the bar

Isaac for getting cunted off the ball by a 16 year old

Eddie for hoofing it to Thatcham from the goal line

George for saving all the hard shots but letting in the easy ones

Josh for playing basketball outside the areas

Eddie for having his legs open like a slut for Brice to exploit

Dave for spooning a throw in that didn't come onto the pitch

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Dave for backheeling it off the pitch

Josh's pass straight to their striker who scored

George for missing his penalty

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Isaac for passing the ball out for a corner from a throw in

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Isaac for aiming for the flootlight on the middle pitch when taking a shot

George's magic boots making the ball disappear anywhere but the goal

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Josh for letting the first goal through his hands and legs

Ash for booting the bag of balls and going absolutely flying and every single person cracking up

Dave for circus juggling with two balls whilst trying to do a Cruyff turn with one of them

Bayly for making a shit backpass and playing them in

Bayly for saying "that's my bad knee ref you cunt!"

Josh for trying and failing dismally to pass a ball back to the other pitch

Josh for nearly scoring an absolutely ridiculous own goal

Josh for yeeting the ball to Thatcham during the warm up

George for randomly hoofing it at Dave

Dave for missing the season finale because it was his 'anniversary'

Ash for playing on the wrong pitch

Josh for his atrocious distribution

George for playing on the wrong pitch

Dave for his mid-air slice

Bayly for taking a corner that didn't even come into play

Adi for his toe-punt to Mars

Josh for letting in 9 goals

Ash for hoofing the ball over the net in the wrong direction pre-game

Ash for being so knackered he got mistaken for a sub

Bayly's pirouette

Adi for missing an open goal

Bayly for stamping on the ball and nearly falling over stupidly

Adi for missing six one-on-ones (despite scoring a hat-trick)

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Dave for spooning a throw in and the ball not going onto the pitch

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Dan for his swing and miss

Dan for making James, Jack and Adam late for their kick off

Josh for randomly heading the ball when it was going out for a goal kick

Bayly for miscontroling it 15 times

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