Best we draw a veil over this one — Texas Oldham ran riot, 0–6.

More Horsed drew a blank up front — one of those nights.

Man of the Match went to Drew. Worth the admission fee alone — Drew for keeping a clean sheet for as long as he did. The keepers' union salutes you.

Every week needs a villain. This week's Donkey 🫏 goes to George for sending a message on the chat saying Adrian and Floris are having an affair or something.

The football was just the warm-up; The Cock Inn was the main event.