A 0–1 defeat to Millhouse Royals. These things happen — drown it at The Cock Inn.

So Horsed drew a blank up front — one of those nights.

Man of the Match? No argument: Harry P. Moment of the night — Drew’s one-on-one save low to his right. Pure larceny between the sticks.

Time for the weekly shame. This week's Donkey 🫏 goes to Dan for asking the referee to give him a couple of minutes to take his tracksuit bottoms off.

The football was just the warm-up; The Cock Inn was the main event.