A 7–0 battering of Crystal Phalace that'll be retold (and exaggerated) over several pints.

Names in the book: Jack C (5), Adam C and Tom W.

Tom W ran the show and walked off with Man of the Match. File this under 'pure cinema' — James accepting their defender's offer of kissing his feet better.

Dan H kept a clean sheet — alert the press.

Predictably, someone had to spoil the fun. This week's Donkey 🫏 goes to Dan's first kick of the game chipping 2 foot off the ground and going straight to their striker.

Another Tuesday in the books — see you at the bar.