A workmanlike 5–2 over Rutts Our FC. Three points is three points.

On the scoresheet: Jack C (hat-trick) and Matt S (brace).

Man of the Match? No argument: Matt S. The highlight reel belongs to Tom's Cruyff turn taking it round their player. Showboating, and we're here for it.

Hand over the donkey ears. This week's Donkey 🫏 goes to Adam — their player did some retarded kick to him…. and Adam decided to out retard him by doing an even more retarded kick back.

The football was just the warm-up; The Cock Inn was the main event.