Horsed nicked it 3–2 against Footbull.

Names in the book: Jack C, Steven W and Aiden S.

Matt S ran the show and walked off with Man of the Match. Moment of the night — Eddie for doing a WWF move on their striker and then threatening to coconut punch him because he called him a fat cunt.

Time for the weekly shame. This week's Donkey 🫏 goes to The ref for trying to send Jack off for: A) thinking about fouling someone B) Passing the ball back 3 yards at 2mph And then revoking the red card for realising he was being a massive cunt. Officials: never the donkey's friend.

Another Tuesday in the books — see you at the bar.