A 2–4 defeat to Bombacleats. These things happen — drown it at The Cock Inn.

On the scoresheet: Jack C (brace).

Man of the Match? No argument: Ash S. Worth the admission fee alone — Adam's perfect cross to Jack to send the defender for hot dogs, and volleying the ball into the net. Ripped the net off.

Every week needs a villain. This week's Donkey 🫏 goes to James for bleeding from both tits at the end of the game.

The football was just the warm-up; The Cock Inn was the main event.