A workmanlike 5–2 over Sheffield Tuesday. Three points is three points.

On the scoresheet: Isaac B (4) and Ben H.

Man of the Match? No argument: Isaac B. Worth the admission fee alone — Ben's screamer of a goal. Keeper didn't even move.

Every week needs a villain. This week's Donkey 🫏 goes to George for doing yoga mid-game. Very zen. Very useless.

The football was just the warm-up; The Cock Inn was the main event.