Stop the Boats edged it 0–3. Frustrating, but the pints don't pour themselves.

More Horsed drew a blank up front — one of those nights.

Man of the Match? No argument: Jack M. The highlight reel belongs to Jack M making some worldly saves. Hands like flypaper.

Hand over the donkey ears. This week's Donkey 🫏 goes to Eddie's shot on the edge of the D making it to Sainsbury's Car Park. That ball's still up there somewhere.

The football was just the warm-up; The Cock Inn was the main event.