A 0–2 defeat to Wally FC. These things happen — drown it at The Cock Inn.

So Horsed drew a blank up front — one of those nights.

Man of the Match? No argument: Haydn H. File this under 'pure cinema' — Jack M for fucking up a player and getting sin binned for it.

Predictably, someone had to spoil the fun. This week's Donkey 🫏 goes to Jack M for coming onto the pitch and hoofing it over the fence with his first touch. Cleared it into next Tuesday.

The football was just the warm-up; The Cock Inn was the main event.