A workmanlike 2–1 over Stop the Boats. Three points is three points.

On the scoresheet: BingBong and Haydn H.

Man of the Match? No argument: Maca. One for the scrapbook — Maca turning their player and sending him for hot dogs. Showboating, and we're here for it.

And now, the bit nobody volunteers for. This week's Donkey 🫏 goes to Haydn for taking the ball to the chest like a bullet in a scene reminiscent of a Saving Private Ryan scene. Goalkeeping is a thankless art.

The football was just the warm-up; The Cock Inn was the main event.