A workmanlike 3–1 over FC FC. Three points is three points.

On the scoresheet: Sam C, Haydn H and Harry P.

Man of the Match? No argument: Chandler. Worth the admission fee alone — Drew's game-saving saves. The keepers' union salutes you.

Every week needs a villain. This week's Donkey 🫏 goes to Haydn's first five minutes playing like he was 'on crack'.

The football was just the warm-up; The Cock Inn was the main event.