Paggies battered So Horsed 1–5. The only sensible response was at the bar.

On the scoresheet: Jordan.

Man of the Match? No argument: Drew S. Worth the admission fee alone — a great strike for the finish by Jordan.

Every week needs a villain. This week's Donkey 🫏 goes to James taking a throw in that didn't come in — it was so bad the ref gave the oppo the throw in. That ball's still up there somewhere.

The football was just the warm-up; The Cock Inn was the main event.