Crucibigballs never stood a chance: Horsed romped home 8–4.

Getting the goals: Jack C (7) and James O.

Pick of the bunch: Jack C, your Man of the Match. File this under 'pure cinema' — Stumpy flicked the ball over his head and finished in the bottom corner — all while Eddie chanted 'Stumpy' from the other pitch. Showboating, and we're here for it.

Predictably, someone had to spoil the fun. This week's Donkey 🫏 goes to Dan for conceding from the halfway line, his excuse for not moving his leg out of the way being 'I'm tired'.

And with that, it was off to The Cock Inn to get horsed.