A 1–2 defeat to Wally FC. These things happen — drown it at The Cock Inn.

Names in the book: Jack C.

Chris L ran the show and walked off with Man of the Match. The highlight reel belongs to Drew for telling Ash to "snap Mr Universal Credit's legs", for him to then start at Eddie and invite him onto the pitch to try himself.

Hand over the donkey ears. This week's Donkey 🫏 goes to Adam for getting two sin bins in one game for the same foul in the same place.

Another Tuesday in the books — see you at the bar.