Footbulls battered So Horsed 1–7. The only sensible response was at the bar.

On the scoresheet: Craig R.

Man of the Match? No argument: Craig R. One for the scrapbook — Sam for nutmegging their player. Straight through the wickets.

And now, the bit nobody volunteers for. This week's Donkey 🫏 goes to Jack C for trying to fuck up a player but injuring himself instead. Gravity: still undefeated.

The football was just the warm-up; The Cock Inn was the main event.