A workmanlike 3–2 over Sheffield Tuesday. Three points is three points.

On the scoresheet: Ted and Dan (BingBong's Mate) (brace).

Man of the Match? No argument: Ted. Worth the admission fee alone — Dan for running through the whole team and scoring.

Every week needs a villain. This week's Donkey 🫏 goes to Drew for turning into Bafetimbi Gomis crawling after the ball.

The football was just the warm-up; The Cock Inn was the main event.