So Horsed and Dribble FC couldn't be separated, finishing 2–2.

On the scoresheet: Sam C and Haydn H.

Man of the Match? No argument: Haydn H and Chandler. Moment of the night — Haydn for getting kicked in the head.

Time for the weekly shame. This week's Donkey 🫏 goes to Paul for stacking it within 20 seconds of the kick-off. Gravity: still undefeated.

The football was just the warm-up; The Cock Inn was the main event.